


Totally God's Will and Shit

by bucketmouse



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Public Hand Jobs, religion used as humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:52:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1897944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucketmouse/pseuds/bucketmouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America gives Russia a handjob under the table at a world meeting, thinking he's absolutely clever and totally stealthy.</p>
<p>He is wrong.</p>
<p>(Originally written on the Kink Meme for 2011)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Totally God's Will and Shit

America would deny being a size queen until the day he died. 

First off, 'queen' was just a derogatory statement considering he happened to enjoy cock, quite a bit, despite being an owner of one himself. As the late and great Mae West had said: too much of a good thing is _wonderful_ (rest in peace Mae, he will _never_ forget you). Russia had what would be to most people an excess of cock. To America's consumerist gluttony, it was a motherfucking godsend from the baby Jesus himself, all wrapped up in a nice pretty package as a present for being the most asskicking of all nations. Hallelujah and raise the roof. 

So what if he couldn't keep his hands off it? That wasn't his fault, it was clearly the will of the Lord for giving him such a hot sexy boyfriend. France would understand, he was all super catholic and shit, he understood the God thing. And maybe Italy, he had the Vatican even if that was currently under the control of the Empoperor. Even Darth Vader needed a little nookie from time to time though, considering that resulted in Jedibabies and a whole franchise and he fucking loved Star Wars okay, almost as much as he loved dick, but that was another story for another day. 

The point was that sometimes he gave Russia a sidelong glance when the other took his large coat off and even when the former Soviet was soft, _God,_ he was so huge that he was packing visible bulge. 

France was at the podium, he'd totally understand. Besides, America just had to be sneaky about it. 

' _Thank you, Jesus._ ' America thought to himself before unclasping his hands that were on the table, sliding one under it and across to give Russia a quick grope. The larger nation to his credit didn't make a sound, though the pen he had been holding made a swan dive to the floor in a very graceful arc, all things considered. He quickly apologized for the interruption when that drew looks their way and bent over to pick up the dropped stylus. 

_'Not now!'_ he mouthed at America, leaning over so he was out of sight of the others, who had returned to the issues at hand. 

America gave Russia the best puppydog eyes that he could, knowing full well that he was the current running grand champion at puppydog eyes. Real puppies would slit tiny adorable wrists in jealousy at how good he was at them. 

_'Please?'_

It was, apparently, quite difficult to be offended when one of the most powerful nations wanted up on your dick so bad he was willing to grope you at a conference. 

Russia sighed, straightening up in his chair and shifting his seat under the guise of moving it back into place, but scooting it a few precious centimeters closer to America. When he sat back down, his lap was angled just slightly, giving the younger man better access to it. 

America was at least subtle at first, he was pretty sure. He kept his eyes on whoever was speaking at the podium, nodded when everyone else nodded, all that good stuff. He knew Russia's vital regions entirely by touch at this point, kept his initial groping to light but thorough stroking, coaxing the erection to half-hardness before Russia's trousers were straining in a way that had to be uncomfortable. 

Thank God Germany was next up, he always started his speeches with telling everyone to shut the hell up as loudly as possible, which completely masked the sound of the zipper being tugged down. 

America removed his hand then, getting a slight huff from Russia - the other's face was getting a little flushed but that could easily be attributed to Vodka, yeah. He took his gloves off, straightened his papers like that's the reason why he did it, then it was back to delicious skin on skin and fuck, Russia was big enough that he couldn't even really fit his whole hand around it from this angle and his jaw ached at the memory of the last time he tried to deep-throat the former Soviet Union. 

He wanted to run his tongue all over that heated member again, to suck him dry, to watch Russia watch him get off on getting him off. 

He pumped his fist faster - some days a hand job under the table just wasn't enough, he'd have to corner him in an office later, or maybe the parking garage, or maybe just right on the goddamn table in front of everyone. Wouldn't that be a surprise? Though it was public knowledge that the Cold War between the two of them had thawed, he was pretty sure none suspected their real relationship now. 

Russia was tugging his scarf just a bit farther up on his face, trying to cover the redness that refused to go away, flushed like his cock in America's hand - he twisted his wrist just a bit, difficult at this angle but not impossible and Russia had to cough to hide a moan. America was barely paying attention to the meeting by now, facing forward but watching Russia out of the corner of his eye so intensely that you'd think he was expecting the other to pull a gun on him any second. 

_'Heh, he's just got the one on him right now, and that's in MY hand.'_ America thought he'd have to remember to tell Russia that one later when they were alone, it was pretty funny. 

He pulled his hand back almost all the way, just thumbing at the slit, fondling the head before returning back to tracing the thick vein in the underside, pressing hard at the base where testicles met shaft - they were both breathing hard from the excitement, and it was taking all of Russia's considerable strength to keep from bucking against America's hand. He knew _everywhere_ Russia liked to be touched, and was hitting each point after the next in rapid, merciless succession. Russia breaking down at his hands, it was enough to put America into such an aroused state that his pants were becoming tight as well. 

Fuck, heavy breathing, harder and larger than ever before - _'Thank you thank you thank you Jesus'_ \- flushed and just barely holding back moans, America could tell Russia was _so close-_

"WILL YOU TWO _PLEASE STOP IT, **BLOODY HELL**_ SHOW SOME _RESPECT_ WE ARE IN A _**CONFERENCE**_!" 

America looked away from Russia just as the other had to collapse against his arms folded in front of him on the table, back visibly shaking as he spasmed and emptied himself into America's incredibly talented hand. 

England was standing, red-faced with anger, looking ready to flip the goddamn table. 

That was when America noticed that _everyone_ was staring at him and Russia. As the former Commie was in post-orgasmic bliss and gasping for breath, any and all explanation for their antics fell upon America. 

There was basically no way that this was not a bad idea. 

"It's Jesus' fault, not mine." America said in his defense. Germany looked ready to drop from an aneurysm. 

"HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE TIME?!" he asked - for all his kinky porn he was into, apparently he was the last one to notice something. 

" _Non,_ they started during my speech." France said with a shrug. "When Russia dropped his stylus. I did not mind, however. _'Make love, not war'_ I always say."

America gave France a thumbs-up with the hand that wasn't still on Russia's dick and stroking him through aftershocks. France gave him a thumbs-up back, and a brilliant smile. America's heart glowed with camaraderie, deciding then and there that he didn't have a stronger friend or ally than France.


End file.
